Dude, where's my life

Enough already!

I think a little personal reevaluation is screaming to be called for at this point in time. Let's (and by us I do mean me) take stock shall we (same concept);

I'm a heartbeat away from turning 27 (disgustingly expensive gifts should be shipped now to avoid my dissapointment), in reasonably good shape, have an above (way above) average intelligence and no halitosis. You would think that I should be out there painting the town several shades of magenta, right?

The truth (by malice, apologies kareem) of the matter is, I spend more time in the office than is sane, I will instinctively turn down any given midweek excursion (regardless of how many scantily clad females there are in attendance), I spend half an hour each night going over my deliverables for the next day and I can scarcely remember the last time I took a shower that lasted longer than 8 and half minutes (I can almost shave with my eyes closed).

Speaking of shaving, I have been growing a beard for the past 3 months (I trim it occasionally so the birds don't start nesting there again), and while most people think it's a religious ting or a means of self diversication, I do it because shaving is not a high priority. I have attached a bearded picture taken at the office chrismas party (for the brain dead among you, I am the one with the beard).


And so boys and girls, what have we learnt today?

You're only young once, so fritter your existance away in the persuit of a false sense of self realisation.

God Bless,

Malice

V for Vex

Dammit all to tarnation and back with a side trip to hell for some sunbathing.

I have just survived (and by just I do mean barely) the most prolificly inane, matrimonial inducing, wallet emptying occassion in the gregorian calender. V DAY!

As is the way of malice, I arrived promptly at the office in my blackest suit, complimented by a delightful pinstiped shirt and ebony cufflinks, topping the ensemble off with a muted black tie; the intent of wrapping myself in this darkest of garb was to be able to send out non-verbal messages to all those within the viewing vicinity that I am definitately not amongst thos celebrating valentines day. Pretty obvious, I thought.

Lo and behold, the armies of red China decended upon the work place like a biblical plague of hormonal locust to spread the messages of desperation and gift reaping. "Happy Valentine's day, what did you bring me, *giggle*". "I have an STD, would you lik to share?"

For those of you out there who aren't comatose or slobbeing idiots, you may have noticed that the imposition of religious and ideological beliefs by fundamentalist / overly voiciferous crackpots has diminished greatly over the last decade or so. Good. I believe that we should start applying this kind of tolerance to celebrations such as this (eid, christmas, national days and celebrations of sporting acheivement could also be thrown in).

We should be able to say, "I am sorry, I don't believe in love, so kindly take that rose and your garishly red garments and tuck them safely in the orfice of your choice. Have a nice day!"

I would like to give a big shout out to Kareem, my regulare readers and Hillary Swank.

Sarcasm is its own reward/
Malice

The World is your Hoister

3 Months, 6 countries, 9 cities, a total of 63 flying hours and a distinct dislike for travelling.

This is (or has become) my life of late. Exciting, James Bondish, sophisticated? Not by a long shot. I have never felt quite as fatigued as I did over the past few months and I had all the souvenirs to prove it, the glad bags under my eyes, the constant worrying about where my passport was, the 14 paper back novels purchased beacuse I had seen all that the inflight entertainment system had to offer and so on.

Anyway, now I am settled, for a while, and tackling the exciting tasks associated with post event administration, and loving it!

I went to a seminar last week on professional congress management, and as part of the proceedings, my team and I had to put together a presentation on corporate sponsorship. I know that sound boring, but it was actually quite fun, not to mention that I was selected by the team to present our findings. That's me in the middle looking overly smug.

So now that everything is jim dandy on the corporate front, I will be trying to sort out the remaining aspects of my life, finding a cure for cancer and locating that superintelligent, nymphomaniac model who will devote her every waking moment to my happiness.

Until next time

Bwahahahaha

Malice

Malice Rising

Okay, I know, I'm sorry

In my own defence, I really don't care what you think.

So, right back into it, thanks to Mr. Kareem from Egypt for his efforts in keeping the flame sputtering, I would assume that he is running out of material by now.

I have had myself quite an interesting run of life which I will be relaying to you in tantelizing installments over the next few posts. It's all here, travel, sex, clowns and sushi.

I have provided, for your viewing pleasure, a picture of my motley crew at the cirque de soliel's performance of Quidam a couple of weeks ago.



I will leave you with the following thought, plagerized from the mind pages of Steven Wright;
'I went out and bought some powdered water and now I don't know what to add to it'

May your toilet bowls be forever warm.
Malice