well here goes, it seems all attempts to remain annonymous are not gonna succeed and frankly i don't care about it anymore, as i really don't mind blowing the covers off everybody i wrote about on my other blog
well today's story little kids is about dreams, the ones you remember at least
i've always been a big fan of dreams and how they are a translation of suppressed thoughts, i couldn't agree more myself, and having a mother who's more-than-talented at interpretting dreams has been a great help ever since i've been dreaming.
dreaming about bloggers:
my latest dream composed of two parts, in the first i encountered either AZ or
Nerro i'm not sure who it was exactly, she was a vieled girl who was showing me around in a place i didn't recognize but was most definetly a bedroom, we were having a lot of fun and laughing all the time. nothing more, then part 2 started
all of a sudden i was whisked away to somewhere on the beach and found myself in the presence of people i didn't recognize, the only person who caught my eye was a certain Jazzy character, even though i never saw her in real life but i instantly recognized her in my dream, she was sitting crouched at the far end of the beach, huddled underneath a rock and crying
i approached her, introduced myself and asked what was wrong? and she shoved me away saying "leave me alone kareemfromegypt" and ran off
now although i find that both parts of this dream are as clear as june sky, it's not the lucid meaning behind the dream that allarmed me so much as the fact that i am now dreaming of bloggers.
when did all this happen? i used to be kinda cool, ask around and you'll know. i was once pinned with the label "the great white hunter of female flesh" and i was a successful one too. now keeping that in mind you fast forward to now and find that my social life resembles that a guy who went to the prom with his mom, if she's free that day
so, was it by choice? god knows i've lost touch with a lot of people over the past 3-4 years and mainly it was on purpose, thinking i didn't have time for them and that i was refining my circle of friends and indeed a lot of them were quite disposable but then in the midst of the purification process some good ones were lost in the debris.
i don't regret losing contact with said few, my regrets in life are close to none. no one has benefited himself of choosing to become a victim, but again i'm slightly alarmed on the narrowing of my options.
what matters to you most? you begin asking yourself... is it friends? work? love? all or none of the above? the need to feel good about oneself? does anyting matter? what's with the apathetic attidude? is it mild depression or altering perception? does anybody care? do you even care?
in the continuing tradition of writing first and second depressing posts in a new blog it seems that old habits die hard, but i was doing great i don't think i posted anything depressing (in my opinion) in the past 20 days or so
as long as i shall live i shall struggle with both depressions and delusions of grandior and feeling invincible, part of our natural cycle i believe and this has gone too long
i'm off to dubai to join Cup of Malice in a week from today for an extended weekend of R&R, let's pray it will get me out of the nonchalant apathetic state of mind and get him off the couch.
p.s this doesn't make much sense to me too
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
My Kingdom for a couch
Allow me to start off by saying that nobody has experienced true anguish until they have been forced to drive for two hours through Dubai traffic in order to get home. And no one shall ever achieve universal oneness until they have.
I have been exploring the rather mundane possibility that I may be getting older, and it is scary. It seems to me that I increasingly lack the vim and vigour required to partake in my favouriste hedonistic pursuits (one of which is currently being infuriatingly coy, but that's another topic). All I want to do after a long day of corporate warrioring is stretch my ravaged carcass upon the feathery warmth of a couch and vegitate, and if asked to do anything that involves a momentum change from zero, my answer is invariably, 'mmmruhboongreblah'.
I have also noticed a number of nonphysical changes, which although intangible are equally alarming. I am becoming exponentially judgemental and uncompromising in my dealings with others, my BS tolerance levels have plummeted like Aurther Andersen stock and I find myself passing by sporting goods stores and checking out baseball bats (a bad combination if one ever existed).
My physical state may actually be in response to my constant seething, I think my subconcious is trying to keep me from becoming a defendant in a manslaughter trial.
You may have noticed that I have intorduced a co-author to the pages of this little seen but soon to be famous blog (I am formulating marketing strategies as I write). Please put your hands together for Mr. K from Egypt, long time listener, first time caller. Once you have unglued your hands from one another, I would like you to use one to smack him upside the head and ask him to earn his non-existent pay.
And remember, people who live in glass houses, should undress in the dark. (KH)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Malice Steps up to the plate
A number of unrelated thought generating pulses have been leisurely swimming through my nervous system lately, and I wanted to get a few of them down on cyber paper before they dissolve into the nethers, you have been warned, this could get wierd.
Why, in this overly brand labeled society which we inhabit, has the intellectual conversation become a shunned prospect? I have first hand experience of people dumbing down their topics in order to fit in with the crowd, I find this more than a little sad.
The general vector that the masses are adopting nowadays veers toward social acceptance at any cost coupled with a parallel pontification of the rights of the individual to the various expresional freedoms. To paraphrase, "why did you buy that pair of (insert well known brand name here) Jeans?". "I did it to express my individuality". Stupid bleeding people.
Welcome to hypocritia, a land where the people smile endlessly and the dagger trade is booming, allow me to take you on a quick tour. To your left, you will find the house of paranoid, established by our lady of perpetual selfishness, this magnificant structure contains the worlds greatest collection of mirrors, to help visitors reassure themselves of their psychiatrist prescribed self worth and to allow them to constantly look over their shoulders.
Just down the road, you will note the tower of libido, this massive phallus represents the desires of everyone who has ever walked the earth. We have recently taken to painting flowers and candy on the exterior to hide the true intentions of its noble architects.
In this dingy side alley, we have the fabled mirror of self reflection, which, as legend has it, allows a person to view his or her real self. This claim, unfortunately, cannot be verified as nobody can remember the last time someone bothered to look into the mirrors depths.
This concludes our whirlwind tour, I am certain that you will enjoy your stay in our lovely home away from humanity, and if anything should tamper with your existential pleasures, too bad, there is no way out.
A number of unrelated thought generating pulses have been leisurely swimming through my nervous system lately, and I wanted to get a few of them down on cyber paper before they dissolve into the nethers, you have been warned, this could get wierd.
Why, in this overly brand labeled society which we inhabit, has the intellectual conversation become a shunned prospect? I have first hand experience of people dumbing down their topics in order to fit in with the crowd, I find this more than a little sad.
The general vector that the masses are adopting nowadays veers toward social acceptance at any cost coupled with a parallel pontification of the rights of the individual to the various expresional freedoms. To paraphrase, "why did you buy that pair of (insert well known brand name here) Jeans?". "I did it to express my individuality". Stupid bleeding people.
Welcome to hypocritia, a land where the people smile endlessly and the dagger trade is booming, allow me to take you on a quick tour. To your left, you will find the house of paranoid, established by our lady of perpetual selfishness, this magnificant structure contains the worlds greatest collection of mirrors, to help visitors reassure themselves of their psychiatrist prescribed self worth and to allow them to constantly look over their shoulders.
Just down the road, you will note the tower of libido, this massive phallus represents the desires of everyone who has ever walked the earth. We have recently taken to painting flowers and candy on the exterior to hide the true intentions of its noble architects.
In this dingy side alley, we have the fabled mirror of self reflection, which, as legend has it, allows a person to view his or her real self. This claim, unfortunately, cannot be verified as nobody can remember the last time someone bothered to look into the mirrors depths.
This concludes our whirlwind tour, I am certain that you will enjoy your stay in our lovely home away from humanity, and if anything should tamper with your existential pleasures, too bad, there is no way out.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
We interrupt our scheduled apathy to bring you this post.
I have gotten my derrier verbally kicked repeatedly for not posting, to those in the striking position, I would like to say, 'Ow! Dammit!'
Anyway, the K man had requested the unwieldier minds of his netizen group to answer a few rather prosaic and pseudo intellectual questions. I will indulge to get him, and the rest of the aspiring centre wings off my ass.
Here goes;
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
Actually, the same person would probably fit the bill. If I must choose seperate entities, these would be my preferences, Sartre, Charles Manson and Christina Ricci.
2. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
That is a situational question, as a 26 year old, hell yes (not that I consider myself bad looking to begin with, hell I'm gorgeous, and modest, and smart...). Ask me again in another 10 years or so, just about the time I start shopping for a Harley and trolling for 18 year old blond bombshells.
3. Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
No contest on that one... being the world's foremost workaholic, there are few things that I would rather do than being in the office. I have even exchanged explicit encounters for the merrimement of potential carpel tunnel.
4. When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
Hmmm, Last time I cried was probably during my first year of uni, homesickness and a badly stubbed toe. Crying to another person probably last took place somewhere in the 3rd grade
5. If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
Depends on the definition of satisfying, if it means comparitive success (age versus achievement), then I would guess 1. If satisfaction means complacency with what they have, then all 100.
6. If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
Wouldn't make much difference to me, unless said soulmate was female and came with 'benefits'.
7. Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?
What worries me is that everyone agrees as to the type of person that I am... I need to be more subversive, that way no one will be able to see me coming...
8. Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
I would prefer to be neither, What kind of a question is that? If I had to choose, I would be blind, no great loss to humanity.
9. Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
I don't like to gamble on people, you just wind up losing, either your belief in humanity, money or sanity.
10. If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?
wouldn't that effecively alter your personality? I would like the freudian fan club to comment on this one?
11. Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
Depends on whether extracurricular activities were condoned or not... (Join my movement to abolish monogamy, bring back the commune!)
12. If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
Nope, man is not meant to be happy and in my opinion, if you say that you are going to be loyal, bloody do it (why you would want to say that is another matter altogether!)
13. Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
I am exteremly self confident, and that is the crux of the query. Therefore, I will eschew this one as my response will make me out to be a pompous jackass.
14. If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
I think I would rip off the script of Apocalypse Now and cast myself as the psycho platoon leader. I know I would wake up happy after that!
15.While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
We would need to sit down for some family history before you would understand my response to this one.
16. If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
Anyone who brings along the encyclopedia britanicca (Getting bored of these questions)
17. You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
Why am I involved with psycho chick in the first place? Two words people... Low Maintinance!!
Am wrapping up this session here... to be continued, Damn you K!!!
I have gotten my derrier verbally kicked repeatedly for not posting, to those in the striking position, I would like to say, 'Ow! Dammit!'
Anyway, the K man had requested the unwieldier minds of his netizen group to answer a few rather prosaic and pseudo intellectual questions. I will indulge to get him, and the rest of the aspiring centre wings off my ass.
Here goes;
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
Actually, the same person would probably fit the bill. If I must choose seperate entities, these would be my preferences, Sartre, Charles Manson and Christina Ricci.
2. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
That is a situational question, as a 26 year old, hell yes (not that I consider myself bad looking to begin with, hell I'm gorgeous, and modest, and smart...). Ask me again in another 10 years or so, just about the time I start shopping for a Harley and trolling for 18 year old blond bombshells.
3. Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
No contest on that one... being the world's foremost workaholic, there are few things that I would rather do than being in the office. I have even exchanged explicit encounters for the merrimement of potential carpel tunnel.
4. When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
Hmmm, Last time I cried was probably during my first year of uni, homesickness and a badly stubbed toe. Crying to another person probably last took place somewhere in the 3rd grade
5. If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
Depends on the definition of satisfying, if it means comparitive success (age versus achievement), then I would guess 1. If satisfaction means complacency with what they have, then all 100.
6. If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
Wouldn't make much difference to me, unless said soulmate was female and came with 'benefits'.
7. Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?
What worries me is that everyone agrees as to the type of person that I am... I need to be more subversive, that way no one will be able to see me coming...
8. Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
I would prefer to be neither, What kind of a question is that? If I had to choose, I would be blind, no great loss to humanity.
9. Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
I don't like to gamble on people, you just wind up losing, either your belief in humanity, money or sanity.
10. If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?
wouldn't that effecively alter your personality? I would like the freudian fan club to comment on this one?
11. Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
Depends on whether extracurricular activities were condoned or not... (Join my movement to abolish monogamy, bring back the commune!)
12. If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
Nope, man is not meant to be happy and in my opinion, if you say that you are going to be loyal, bloody do it (why you would want to say that is another matter altogether!)
13. Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
I am exteremly self confident, and that is the crux of the query. Therefore, I will eschew this one as my response will make me out to be a pompous jackass.
14. If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
I think I would rip off the script of Apocalypse Now and cast myself as the psycho platoon leader. I know I would wake up happy after that!
15.While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
We would need to sit down for some family history before you would understand my response to this one.
16. If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
Anyone who brings along the encyclopedia britanicca (Getting bored of these questions)
17. You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
Why am I involved with psycho chick in the first place? Two words people... Low Maintinance!!
Am wrapping up this session here... to be continued, Damn you K!!!
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